Your INNER Diva!!! (Breaking bad habits)

Working to improve yourself is difficult. You may have deep (or not so deep) emotional and psychological issues, a messed up childhood, and a whole host of issues that can stop you from being the best YOU that you could be. And for that I really can't help you. I'm not a doctor or a psychologist- so if your issues lie that deep, then by all means see a therapist. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and even if you are, your visits are confidential and you don't have to tell anyone.

Now for the not-so-deep issues that you can solve on your own:

To try to be your best, work on breaking your bad habits. Now I don't mean those things that you do that annoy other people but that you don't have a problem with. If you don't have a problem with it the forget what others think of you, however, if you do have a problem with one of your habits, then you should try changing it.

Personally, I have a few bad habits that I'd like to work on, but my advice is to work on one at a time, and not to move on until you've mastered that one. Give yourself a time line of when you want to be done with that bad habit, and then get to work. Do whatever it takes to rid yourself of that habit because once you do you will not only be a better person, but you will feel good that you accomplished your goal and it will reassure you that you can do anything!

The bad habit that I'm working on now is pushing the snooze button! It may not seem like such a bad thing to you, but I'm always running behind or rushing because I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to sleep! This can get in the way of my *diva* because being late to things (especially job interviews, important meetings, work in general, or a friends' performance/party, etc) sends off a bad message. It's almost like saying that you don't care for [insert event here] and that you'd rather not be there.

To be a *diva* you shouldn't make people feel that way. Always be respectful of people and their time. If you don't want people to waist your time, don't waist theirs. Fashionably late applies to parties and social settings. Never conduct business that way (late) because you'll come off as a prima-donna (dare I say b****), and unorganized, and not as a classy woman.

Now, with all that said, the question is what do you do to break a bad habit? (I'll answer that by relying on a good resource- ehow):

1. Decide how serious you are about breaking the habit. In addition to a strong commitment, you'll need time and energy to pay attention to your behavior so that you can change it.

2. Keep track of when you do the behavior. Keep a notepad or journal handy.

3. Write down when it happens (what is the situation) and what you were thinking and feeling. Writing increases your awareness of when and why you have this habit.

4. Read and think about what you write down. What does this habit do for you? Is it a way to deal with feelings of boredom, anxiety, stress, anger?

5. Think of what you could do instead of the habit that would be a more positive way to deal with the feelings or situation. Write down some simple alternative behaviors that you could do instead. Pick one you want to practice.

6. Try to catch yourself when you find yourself doing the habit and stop yourself as soon as you can. Start the alternative behavior you decided you wanted to do instead.

7. Aim to do this once a week and increase the number of times per week over time. The more you practice a new behavior, the more it becomes the new *good* habit.

8. Get support from others by letting them know you are working on the habit and telling them what they can do to help.

The bottom line is this: being a true diva starts from within and breaking bad habits is an easy way to help you feel good about yourself-so start there! Always stay true to yourself and make yourself feel good about who you are and what you represent. Never underestimate the power of change! (Hey if it worked for Obama, it can work for you.)

If there's something you don't like about yourself, change it. Don't let people around you dictate how you have to live your life. Know that flexibility is an essential part of womanhood and that includes your personality, style, hair color, and even the food you eat. Don't get trapped into a box because you feel scared of what's in front of you. Face it head on and love yourself while doing it.

(And if you don't like your new self- don't hesitate to try over again. Reinvent yourself as often as possible until you feel good (and comfortable) with yourself!)

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